so, this distance is a problem.
it's not that i'm not able to deal with it,
but i certainly don't like it.
if i had this all to do again,
i would have gone with her straightaway...
but of course nyc (read: life) is not easy like that.
it may never be easy.
(life either for that matter...)
that is troublesome in and of itself.
but i'm not down on the idea of being there.
i'm just down on the situation at hand.
it's funny how when we first met i was annoyed by the fact that she would call me on the phone and talk my ear off about nothing.
now i'm annoyed that we can't even make small talk and the 'big stuff' seems akward and impossible for phone conversation.
there's no blame.
there's just a void that i want very badly to fill,
and there's really only one way to fill it.
i'd be lying if i said i didn't ache.
but i'm afraid to say it, or show it.
in fear, i guess.
of what?
who knows?
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
If I can make it there...
So, many of you are already aware, but my wife has left me…
… to start her job in New York that is! (Maybe I caught some of you off guard there, but most likely not... but... if so, GOTCHA!)
Anyway, I’m trying my best to keep my sanity, stave off loneliness, and wrap things up around these parts.
So, if you’re up to no good and need a partner in crime, let me know. I’m available for small time, petty crimes.
Otherwise, I’ve got an interesting balance of nervousness and excitement in my belly.
I’m excited because of the fact that… well, it’s NEW YORK CITY.
It feels like there are going so many more opportunities available to me, just awaiting my arrival to the big city.
There’s a lot more going on, things to do, things to see, new people to meet, etc.
And then there’s money.
That’s really my only concern. I’m really nervous about how much things like rent are going to cost
vs. the amount of money that, at least initially, will be coming in.
I’ve got some employment opportunities, but nothing nailed down yet.
I’m not too worried about a job, because I’m really willing to do whatever…
but likewise, it always seems like you’re not really able to land a job until you’re there.
On the other hand there’s always our savings if things are a little rough to start out…we’ve got a sizable savings going on, but I don’t want to deplete it just to survive.
I guess Allison and I can finally be the poor newlyweds that we’re supposed to be. Our new lifestyle will revolve around what is FREE – the free concerts, art showings/installations, the free museums, etc.
… to start her job in New York that is! (Maybe I caught some of you off guard there, but most likely not... but... if so, GOTCHA!)
Anyway, I’m trying my best to keep my sanity, stave off loneliness, and wrap things up around these parts.
So, if you’re up to no good and need a partner in crime, let me know. I’m available for small time, petty crimes.
Otherwise, I’ve got an interesting balance of nervousness and excitement in my belly.
I’m excited because of the fact that… well, it’s NEW YORK CITY.
It feels like there are going so many more opportunities available to me, just awaiting my arrival to the big city.
There’s a lot more going on, things to do, things to see, new people to meet, etc.
And then there’s money.
That’s really my only concern. I’m really nervous about how much things like rent are going to cost
vs. the amount of money that, at least initially, will be coming in.
I’ve got some employment opportunities, but nothing nailed down yet.
I’m not too worried about a job, because I’m really willing to do whatever…
but likewise, it always seems like you’re not really able to land a job until you’re there.
On the other hand there’s always our savings if things are a little rough to start out…we’ve got a sizable savings going on, but I don’t want to deplete it just to survive.
I guess Allison and I can finally be the poor newlyweds that we’re supposed to be. Our new lifestyle will revolve around what is FREE – the free concerts, art showings/installations, the free museums, etc.
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