You're Avante Garde Indie. You listen to abstract
music like free-jazz and Krautrock. You drink
too much coffee and you scare the fuck out of
the rest of us. We're afraid to call you
pretentious because we know that we all just
don't get it. There are few of you out there,
and most of you will probably die soon.


You Know Yer Indie. Let's Sub-Categorize.
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sorry john, there's no emo cateogry... you know... my true self.

So, we're working on our second snowfall of the season.
This should amount to lots of fun driving on the roads today.
Luckily, I am planning on going nowhere near any major shopping outlets.

Snowfall + busiest shopping day of the year + Michigan drivers = disaster!

I do, however, need to get my mopeds and bikes moved TODAY!!

Fun Facts about Paul Schrader's 1997 film Light of Day:

Hollywood Video at Lovers and Cork has it. That is if you can find it in their jumbled up mess of VHS Tapes. I understand that VHS tapes are not as popular as they once were, but what the hell ever happened to ALPHABETICAL ORDER!?!?!? REALLY!!!

Bruce Springsteen wrote the title track "Light of Day"

The best song in the film is the Joan Jett song, "This Means War"
But not the version that the Barbusters, (the band that Fox and Jett play in.)
Rather the "sax-ified" version that makes it sound like a Christmas song!!
It goes rather well with the landscape of a snowy Cleveland.

Michael J Fox has the best hair in this film. THE BEST!!!
He looks like he can actually play guitar... I dunno, maybe he actually can.
He's not too bad of a singer, although I'd definitely keep him on back-ups.
Oh wait, that's right, he does play guitar...
I remember a certain Chuck Berry song in Back to the Future.
I don't remember why he might have said "Yes" to this script.

Joan Jett does what she does best. Sing... and look like she's a mid-west townie, destined to a bar band lifestyle. Although I was somehow turned on by her mullet.

This movie also features, as Guy Picciotto of Fugazi would say...
"Gen-ah Rrrrrrr -ah- lands!!"

Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails fame gets some screen time as a member of the synth-pop band, The Problems (or "cut rate concept rock" as they are referred to in the film)
Nice shirt, and hair-do... BUT, who the hell plays their keyboard angled away from themselves at a 45 degree angle? Is that so the audience can see you playing something that doesn't even look like it goes along with the music coming out of the speakers?

Someone at IMDB.com described it as "OverScripted Morality Play."
...and yup, that pretty much describes it. It's the kind of shit that makes me tear up, even though I'm hating every minute I'm watching and I'm only watching because I thought it would be hilarious. Damn you, overscripted morality play!

Allison still has not heard back from TODA. She is not too worried about it because the person that she interviewed with said that it could be a few weeks before she heard back from him. (But I know the anticipation is building) She did send him an e-mail letting him know how much she appreciated the interview and hoping that things would work out. I told her that there wasn't much else to do except wait, but not too long. I told her that in a week she should probably give the guy a call and find out the status of the position. Of course, she will be holding her breath until that time... can you blame her? I think I see her turning a nice shade of blue-ish purple, right now.

I had a nice chat with her about where things are going for me.
I told her that while Bronson sure does pay the bills, it isn't necessarily what I want.
She told me, "I would hope so. I do not want to have to live in Kalamazoo forever!!"
It's bigger than Kalamazoo though... but I know that she understands.

I tell myself that I can work wherever... which is true, but why would I want to keep working at a job that I don't really love? I'm not saying that I shouldn't be greatful for my job. I am. I am very lucky to have the job that I do. Especially with the very little computer training that I have.

I should be greatful because it's a good paying job with good benefits as well, and I am.
Eventually though, I shouldn't be working at a job that I'll just get burnt out on or frustrated with that I'll eventually come to resent and then be mad at myself for not going after what I want.

Going with Ed to Chicago and seeing Colombia College was reaffirming to me.
That I should be doing something that I love. They really pushed the fact that they're all about their student's passions. They really seem like enablers.
"Oh, you want to do x, y, and z. Well, we can help you attain those goals."
It seems as if they're pretty close to their students, rather than what it was like for me at Michigan State. I dunno. I kinda blame the school, but mostly I blame myself. If I really wanted an education from MSU... I could have gone after it and succeeded. But I didn't. I didn't know what I wanted then. I certainly had no idea that there were non-state schools that might be more challenging and enabling, but I don't think that would have made any difference anyway. I didn't know about careers. I mean, I knew about careers like being a doctor, an engineer, a teacher, etc. but I didn't know about anything about publicists, promoters, business owners, freelance writers -- not to mention a plethora of other jobs I could have sparked an interest in.

Besides I was too wrapped up in a breakup, depression, and partying to care about class.


So, where am I going with all of this?
Yeah, that's a good question.
I see it like this.

1. I'm going to go back to school. I really feel like I'm wasting my intelligence. I'm a smart guy, but I seem to know just a little about a whole lot of things. I talked with Ivo, Ed, and Simon about that. They seem to think that it's okay. Maybe even admirable. I don't think it's okay or admirable. I feel like I can do some of things that I want to do, but I can only do them half-assedly. I can't deal with that anymore. I really feel like directed course study is what I want and need. Everything else can be a hobby, or an interest I have that isn't as important. But I listen to Ivo and Simon talk about design, or some of my co-workers talk about computers, or other people I know talk about the mechanics of things. I'm not an expert on anything, really. I work an entry level job as a Computer Tech, AND I HAVE
ABSOLUTELY NO TRAINING IN THE FIELD, NOR THE DESIRE TO LEARN OR CONTINUE IN THIS FIELD!!

2. I really want to make a difference in kids lives. My aforementioned lack of drive and
confusion as to what I could do with myself has led me to believe that I can help direct kids down the paths that they might not know about, but really want to know about. I feel like I need to do this as much as I want to do this. It's really bigger than myself, but it's for me just as much as it's for any kids I might help. I would feel success at helping just one kid make a decision that they might not necessarily have had the opportunity to make.
I want to teach, inform, and educate... I want to direct, counsel, and suggest... I want to mold, focus, and direct... young lives. We need patient, caring, and understanding people to do it... and I know I'd be good at it.
I just have to do it.
So I will.

3a. I really really love music. I do eventually want to own my own record store. Eventually, I will own my own record store. THE GOAL: Eventual record store owner.

3b. I love people that play music. I want to help people that play good music succeed in their goals. I want to book shows for them, I want to publicize the crap out of their bands,
I want to help make them as BIG as they want to be. Freelance publicist, that's me!!

3c. I want to be in a band. A band that plays a few shows a month for some big-timers that roll through town, maybe we'll release an album and I can publicise the crap out of that. People around the country might like us enough so that maybe we can tour
the midwest. Maybe we'll play a two week summer national tour. I don't want to be a rockstar, but maybe people out there might like my music enough to warrent a small write up in one of my favorite magazines or websites.
Local Indie-rocker boy, yup, that's me.

3d. I listen to a lot of music. I'm a decent writer. I'm about two steps away from having my own record review site up on the internet. I've got friends that listen to a lot of music. Some of them are good writers too. Hmmm. Maybe I should ask them if they'd like to
review music for my impending website. Yeah, music-website guru... uh huh, you know it. ME! ME! ME!

Of course, #3 is a spare time kinda thing. I don't have to do it all, at least not all of it, right away!! It's one of those things that I know will keep me busy enough, but not so busy that I can't do what I need to do. It'll satisfy my need for being involved with music, but not drive me insane.

So, the next question is...
When do I start my dreams?

I'm a simple man...

shit, piss, fart, and dick jokes get me everytime...

not the ones on morning FM radio, but rather the ones told amongst gender mixed friends while sipping martinis.

Oh, and please join my new special interest group:

PERA - People for the Equality in Restroom Accommodations

We will fight for your rights as a human being to have your simple needs in restroom accommodations met; including but not limited to the following:

* stall doors on both men and women's facilities
* minimum height and width requirements for stalls, doors, and dividers
* the outlawing of trough-like urinals at large sports arena settings
* the outlawing of questionable methods such as: "hovering," "muting," or "padding"
* the lawful implementation of restroom technicians in high traffic restrooms to monitor levels of cleanliness, usage flow, and efficiency.
* New restroom laws including strict enforcement of common courtesy issues including: paper usage and waste, flushing - both as a courtesy and a rule of completion for your restroom use, restroom conversation etiquette, restroom graffiti (including illustrated genitalia, potty-poetry, hand dryer defacing, and glory holes,) diarrhea and vomit issues, and new youth supervision requirements.
* the enforcement of new restroom laws of which punishments shall include, but not be limited to: unplugging, plunging, and scrubbing.

and I quote...

"Fuck Boardwalk!"

-- Brian Mansberger

Tonite there was a spirtited game of Monopoly to be had.

While Josh Franta and I bowed out early... (too many easy real estate trades amongst my compeditors for my liking... and my pocket book.)
I did have an early and tight grasp on the Green and Yellow properties; as well a nice mixed package of other properties that others held pairs of, but I was not able to build houses and hotels quickly enough to make an impression on other's bankrolls before the aforementioned flood of easy real estate snatches.

Allison pulled it out with the slums and the heights. (Purple props. and Boardwalk/Park Place)
Those cemented her take over. At first she only had Med. and Baltic. Josh practically gave her Park Place... and somehow she managed to grab Boardwalk from me... The end was near...
Josh quickly fell to her and my precious Green and Yellow properties were soon to follow. Then both Utilites and all of the Railroads. It was a slow going affair as both Erin and Brian were very worthy opponents, but Allison pulled it off.

A nice victory.
A nice evening.

quickie...

1. so, work sucks.

2. allison is in nyc... she maybe semi-permanently there after the new year...
so maybe 6 months from now we'll both be there... for a while at least...
"cuz i've gotta get the fuck out of this town" - pay-vuh-meant

3. went and saw matrix:revolutions... *eh* i'm satisfied with the ending... although i'm a little undecided about how much i really enjoyed the movies vs. how much i liked the over-all ideas of the movies. (more on that later)

4. have a storage space for my bikes and 'peds for the winter. one less thing to worry about. yea!

5. am i a huggy guy?

Wow!
I mean, WOW!!

If only everyday could be a third as happy as yesterday was!

Spending time with my lady in the morning. Coffee and magazine reading... what a cheap date.
(Okay, so I bought a sweater that I really didn't need... but it's nice and was inexpensive!)
Then back to James' house to pick up my shtuff from the party the night before,
caught some quality conversation with Mr. Stephenson.
Then to Wings Stadium to pick up tickets for the K-Wings (UHL Hockey Team) home opener.
Back to JT's house for more coffee and
k-wality conversation...
endured Connor's room clearing odors... was mystified by the 3-D graphics of Megaman XXX 456.
Back to the homestead for a quick bowl of Kelloggs Fruitful Harvest
(berries of strawb and blue, with almonds...yum!)
Over to Wick's house for a meet and greet with Lane and Karen (Joel's pop and step-moms; both very nice) J. Frantastic joined us moments later, with his lovely new hair color. Onwards toward the Wings game...
J. Wee-vah in tow.
Karen's first hockey experience was a doozy. The Wings shut out Ft. Wayne 6 - 0. 4 goals by the end of the First. More excitement, bullshit calls, runs on the goalie, etc. than I've ever seen at a hockey game. There were at least 6 fights, including one with the Wings goalie getting into the action, harrassment of the Komet's goalie... (ST. JOHN, ST. JOHN, YOU SUCK!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Usually Joel and I are the loudmouths, but Christ if the brainiacs weren't out for the game tonite.
It was awesome. Usually the arena is filled with morons but last night we had it all - People leading chants, ripping on the announcer, the arena DJ, the fans, the refs.
Hockey is the best sport. Don't front.

Then, after all of that excitement... it was onto Knob Hill. Oh yeah! The sweet sounds of Sage. A trio of middle aged men performing the classics; AC/DC, the Eagles, Deep Purple, Prince... the hotttest Neil Young-esque solo for "Rockin' in the Freeworld" I've ever seen performed... by a 50+ y/o, no less. Wick looking for a fight, but not really... talkin' it up with the regulars... dancin', popin', and lockin' the night away. Miss Wee-vah wasted. The boys were plussed, but not pissed.
Home by 1:30a, up by 9:30a.
Woooo!

I'm not that much into parties...
but when I attend or am involved with one, I ususally fail.

I think I put too much emphasis on wanting everyone to have a good time and to enjoy what is going on, that I don't sit back and enjoy it for myself.

I get all worked up and pissed off that I can't bring myself back to 'party' mode.
Then I do things like leave in a trail of burning rubber... (sorry, that was an asshole move...)
or worse... If it's a party at my house... I'll just pop some earplugs in and go to bed, wishing everyone the hell out of my house.

Oh, and for the record, I'm not mad at anyone except for maybe me.