Breast Implants


What Will Santa Bring You?
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yes, exactly what I need!!

the shackles that bind me...

so, there's been a lot of talk lately...
you know... the usual spouting of nonsense that issues forth from my yap.
... and no, i'm not talking about the silly ass surveys i've been posting on friendster, nor the sorry ass quizzes from quizilla.

but rather, the real deal shtuff...

well, it's ALL moving in a positive direction.
i can't promise myself or any of you that there won't be some setbacks,
but that's just the way life works, right?

to clarify:

i'm getting the fuck out of Kalamazoo.
probably by march or april. may at the very, very, very latest.
which is great because this timeframe falls into my six month plan.

the scouts are scouting, and the advance troops are gathering their supplies.
we have a green light on operation: enrique freedom.

i'm going to go ahead and start my process by declaring my alliance to the Isles.

======

on a completely different note,
my sucky corporate job has taken away the one thing that keeps me sane:
streaming internet radio.
most streaming media went by the wayside a few months ago when they installed this "websense" system that blocks anything that eats a lot of bandwidth, but because most of the stations i like fall below our security officer's radar*. i was able to hold on to 3wk.com for a while... but Worf was able to figure me out. shit.

*he very much enjoys being called "security officer." he's a big star trek freak. i'm sure he refers to different areas of Bronson as: "the bridge, main engineering, transporter room one" and the likes... maybe not out loud, but inside his head. he's taking off three days because of Lord of the Rings, he dressed up as a chubby version of Ewan McGregor in the latest two Star Wars movies for Halloween, at last checkhe's got all but the last two seasons of Deep Space Nine on DVD and eagerly awaiting the release of ST:Voyager on DVD. implied judgement: nerd.

one answer changes everything i tell ya'...

you spend most of your time?

A. Rearranging your hair, taking artsy angled photos of yrself
B. Browsing pitchforkmedia.com
C. Rearranging your record collection/sitting on your butt
D. Writing angsty poetry, blah, blah, blah...
E. Fixing your hair, shopping at thrift stores.

So, I figure... go with the true answer right.
I browse pitchforkmedia.
It's not as if I plan my weekly record purchases from their site (no, that would be from either other music and/or neptune records weekly e-mails, places that are probably deemed far more pretentious than pitchfork... but I digress...) and while some of their reviewers are kinda pretentious (what critic isn't? ...) they're usually spot on with their music news and gossip. So hey, there I am.

I mean, I have my record collection in order.
It doesn't need any "re-organization." Maybe I need to file things away... but lets be honest the only real way to "organize" your collection is by alphabetical order. Maybe if you're really anal (which I have been accused of) you add to the above by organizing each artist's albums by release date. But DEFINITELY none of this, (and forgive me Nick Hornby and more importantly John Cussack) organized by ex-girlfriends or music education progression bullshit. I mean seriously TRY FINDING ANYTHING!!

So, I answered B.


you are a pretentious indie asshole. you piss off
everybody but other pretentious indie assholes.
you suck extremely hard and only listen to
stuff on pitchfork media. fuck you.


what type of lame scenester are you?
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Whatever..., I don't try to pass myself off as knowing anything about Still Life or Indian Summer. I don't pretend that I wear anything but tshirts and jeans. I will freely admit to standing around nodding at shows (definitely no "hardcore dance" for me,) and keep my mouth shut...
and I'm lumped in with Connor Oberst loving motherfuckers...
I gave his last album a chance, but puh - leeeze...

On side 1 of LP2, (or answer C) :
When I pretend that I have a sick, dead-end relationship with my record collection and obviously too much time on my hands.


you are either a record nerd or not a scenester at
all. you are the coolest of the bunch. bravo,
dude.


what type of lame scenester are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

*grrrrrrrrr*
I need to make me some motherfucking quizzes...

You're Avante Garde Indie. You listen to abstract
music like free-jazz and Krautrock. You drink
too much coffee and you scare the fuck out of
the rest of us. We're afraid to call you
pretentious because we know that we all just
don't get it. There are few of you out there,
and most of you will probably die soon.


You Know Yer Indie. Let's Sub-Categorize.
brought to you by Quizilla

sorry john, there's no emo cateogry... you know... my true self.

So, we're working on our second snowfall of the season.
This should amount to lots of fun driving on the roads today.
Luckily, I am planning on going nowhere near any major shopping outlets.

Snowfall + busiest shopping day of the year + Michigan drivers = disaster!

I do, however, need to get my mopeds and bikes moved TODAY!!

Fun Facts about Paul Schrader's 1997 film Light of Day:

Hollywood Video at Lovers and Cork has it. That is if you can find it in their jumbled up mess of VHS Tapes. I understand that VHS tapes are not as popular as they once were, but what the hell ever happened to ALPHABETICAL ORDER!?!?!? REALLY!!!

Bruce Springsteen wrote the title track "Light of Day"

The best song in the film is the Joan Jett song, "This Means War"
But not the version that the Barbusters, (the band that Fox and Jett play in.)
Rather the "sax-ified" version that makes it sound like a Christmas song!!
It goes rather well with the landscape of a snowy Cleveland.

Michael J Fox has the best hair in this film. THE BEST!!!
He looks like he can actually play guitar... I dunno, maybe he actually can.
He's not too bad of a singer, although I'd definitely keep him on back-ups.
Oh wait, that's right, he does play guitar...
I remember a certain Chuck Berry song in Back to the Future.
I don't remember why he might have said "Yes" to this script.

Joan Jett does what she does best. Sing... and look like she's a mid-west townie, destined to a bar band lifestyle. Although I was somehow turned on by her mullet.

This movie also features, as Guy Picciotto of Fugazi would say...
"Gen-ah Rrrrrrr -ah- lands!!"

Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails fame gets some screen time as a member of the synth-pop band, The Problems (or "cut rate concept rock" as they are referred to in the film)
Nice shirt, and hair-do... BUT, who the hell plays their keyboard angled away from themselves at a 45 degree angle? Is that so the audience can see you playing something that doesn't even look like it goes along with the music coming out of the speakers?

Someone at IMDB.com described it as "OverScripted Morality Play."
...and yup, that pretty much describes it. It's the kind of shit that makes me tear up, even though I'm hating every minute I'm watching and I'm only watching because I thought it would be hilarious. Damn you, overscripted morality play!

Allison still has not heard back from TODA. She is not too worried about it because the person that she interviewed with said that it could be a few weeks before she heard back from him. (But I know the anticipation is building) She did send him an e-mail letting him know how much she appreciated the interview and hoping that things would work out. I told her that there wasn't much else to do except wait, but not too long. I told her that in a week she should probably give the guy a call and find out the status of the position. Of course, she will be holding her breath until that time... can you blame her? I think I see her turning a nice shade of blue-ish purple, right now.

I had a nice chat with her about where things are going for me.
I told her that while Bronson sure does pay the bills, it isn't necessarily what I want.
She told me, "I would hope so. I do not want to have to live in Kalamazoo forever!!"
It's bigger than Kalamazoo though... but I know that she understands.

I tell myself that I can work wherever... which is true, but why would I want to keep working at a job that I don't really love? I'm not saying that I shouldn't be greatful for my job. I am. I am very lucky to have the job that I do. Especially with the very little computer training that I have.

I should be greatful because it's a good paying job with good benefits as well, and I am.
Eventually though, I shouldn't be working at a job that I'll just get burnt out on or frustrated with that I'll eventually come to resent and then be mad at myself for not going after what I want.

Going with Ed to Chicago and seeing Colombia College was reaffirming to me.
That I should be doing something that I love. They really pushed the fact that they're all about their student's passions. They really seem like enablers.
"Oh, you want to do x, y, and z. Well, we can help you attain those goals."
It seems as if they're pretty close to their students, rather than what it was like for me at Michigan State. I dunno. I kinda blame the school, but mostly I blame myself. If I really wanted an education from MSU... I could have gone after it and succeeded. But I didn't. I didn't know what I wanted then. I certainly had no idea that there were non-state schools that might be more challenging and enabling, but I don't think that would have made any difference anyway. I didn't know about careers. I mean, I knew about careers like being a doctor, an engineer, a teacher, etc. but I didn't know about anything about publicists, promoters, business owners, freelance writers -- not to mention a plethora of other jobs I could have sparked an interest in.

Besides I was too wrapped up in a breakup, depression, and partying to care about class.


So, where am I going with all of this?
Yeah, that's a good question.
I see it like this.

1. I'm going to go back to school. I really feel like I'm wasting my intelligence. I'm a smart guy, but I seem to know just a little about a whole lot of things. I talked with Ivo, Ed, and Simon about that. They seem to think that it's okay. Maybe even admirable. I don't think it's okay or admirable. I feel like I can do some of things that I want to do, but I can only do them half-assedly. I can't deal with that anymore. I really feel like directed course study is what I want and need. Everything else can be a hobby, or an interest I have that isn't as important. But I listen to Ivo and Simon talk about design, or some of my co-workers talk about computers, or other people I know talk about the mechanics of things. I'm not an expert on anything, really. I work an entry level job as a Computer Tech, AND I HAVE
ABSOLUTELY NO TRAINING IN THE FIELD, NOR THE DESIRE TO LEARN OR CONTINUE IN THIS FIELD!!

2. I really want to make a difference in kids lives. My aforementioned lack of drive and
confusion as to what I could do with myself has led me to believe that I can help direct kids down the paths that they might not know about, but really want to know about. I feel like I need to do this as much as I want to do this. It's really bigger than myself, but it's for me just as much as it's for any kids I might help. I would feel success at helping just one kid make a decision that they might not necessarily have had the opportunity to make.
I want to teach, inform, and educate... I want to direct, counsel, and suggest... I want to mold, focus, and direct... young lives. We need patient, caring, and understanding people to do it... and I know I'd be good at it.
I just have to do it.
So I will.

3a. I really really love music. I do eventually want to own my own record store. Eventually, I will own my own record store. THE GOAL: Eventual record store owner.

3b. I love people that play music. I want to help people that play good music succeed in their goals. I want to book shows for them, I want to publicize the crap out of their bands,
I want to help make them as BIG as they want to be. Freelance publicist, that's me!!

3c. I want to be in a band. A band that plays a few shows a month for some big-timers that roll through town, maybe we'll release an album and I can publicise the crap out of that. People around the country might like us enough so that maybe we can tour
the midwest. Maybe we'll play a two week summer national tour. I don't want to be a rockstar, but maybe people out there might like my music enough to warrent a small write up in one of my favorite magazines or websites.
Local Indie-rocker boy, yup, that's me.

3d. I listen to a lot of music. I'm a decent writer. I'm about two steps away from having my own record review site up on the internet. I've got friends that listen to a lot of music. Some of them are good writers too. Hmmm. Maybe I should ask them if they'd like to
review music for my impending website. Yeah, music-website guru... uh huh, you know it. ME! ME! ME!

Of course, #3 is a spare time kinda thing. I don't have to do it all, at least not all of it, right away!! It's one of those things that I know will keep me busy enough, but not so busy that I can't do what I need to do. It'll satisfy my need for being involved with music, but not drive me insane.

So, the next question is...
When do I start my dreams?

I'm a simple man...

shit, piss, fart, and dick jokes get me everytime...

not the ones on morning FM radio, but rather the ones told amongst gender mixed friends while sipping martinis.

Oh, and please join my new special interest group:

PERA - People for the Equality in Restroom Accommodations

We will fight for your rights as a human being to have your simple needs in restroom accommodations met; including but not limited to the following:

* stall doors on both men and women's facilities
* minimum height and width requirements for stalls, doors, and dividers
* the outlawing of trough-like urinals at large sports arena settings
* the outlawing of questionable methods such as: "hovering," "muting," or "padding"
* the lawful implementation of restroom technicians in high traffic restrooms to monitor levels of cleanliness, usage flow, and efficiency.
* New restroom laws including strict enforcement of common courtesy issues including: paper usage and waste, flushing - both as a courtesy and a rule of completion for your restroom use, restroom conversation etiquette, restroom graffiti (including illustrated genitalia, potty-poetry, hand dryer defacing, and glory holes,) diarrhea and vomit issues, and new youth supervision requirements.
* the enforcement of new restroom laws of which punishments shall include, but not be limited to: unplugging, plunging, and scrubbing.

and I quote...

"Fuck Boardwalk!"

-- Brian Mansberger

Tonite there was a spirtited game of Monopoly to be had.

While Josh Franta and I bowed out early... (too many easy real estate trades amongst my compeditors for my liking... and my pocket book.)
I did have an early and tight grasp on the Green and Yellow properties; as well a nice mixed package of other properties that others held pairs of, but I was not able to build houses and hotels quickly enough to make an impression on other's bankrolls before the aforementioned flood of easy real estate snatches.

Allison pulled it out with the slums and the heights. (Purple props. and Boardwalk/Park Place)
Those cemented her take over. At first she only had Med. and Baltic. Josh practically gave her Park Place... and somehow she managed to grab Boardwalk from me... The end was near...
Josh quickly fell to her and my precious Green and Yellow properties were soon to follow. Then both Utilites and all of the Railroads. It was a slow going affair as both Erin and Brian were very worthy opponents, but Allison pulled it off.

A nice victory.
A nice evening.

quickie...

1. so, work sucks.

2. allison is in nyc... she maybe semi-permanently there after the new year...
so maybe 6 months from now we'll both be there... for a while at least...
"cuz i've gotta get the fuck out of this town" - pay-vuh-meant

3. went and saw matrix:revolutions... *eh* i'm satisfied with the ending... although i'm a little undecided about how much i really enjoyed the movies vs. how much i liked the over-all ideas of the movies. (more on that later)

4. have a storage space for my bikes and 'peds for the winter. one less thing to worry about. yea!

5. am i a huggy guy?

Wow!
I mean, WOW!!

If only everyday could be a third as happy as yesterday was!

Spending time with my lady in the morning. Coffee and magazine reading... what a cheap date.
(Okay, so I bought a sweater that I really didn't need... but it's nice and was inexpensive!)
Then back to James' house to pick up my shtuff from the party the night before,
caught some quality conversation with Mr. Stephenson.
Then to Wings Stadium to pick up tickets for the K-Wings (UHL Hockey Team) home opener.
Back to JT's house for more coffee and
k-wality conversation...
endured Connor's room clearing odors... was mystified by the 3-D graphics of Megaman XXX 456.
Back to the homestead for a quick bowl of Kelloggs Fruitful Harvest
(berries of strawb and blue, with almonds...yum!)
Over to Wick's house for a meet and greet with Lane and Karen (Joel's pop and step-moms; both very nice) J. Frantastic joined us moments later, with his lovely new hair color. Onwards toward the Wings game...
J. Wee-vah in tow.
Karen's first hockey experience was a doozy. The Wings shut out Ft. Wayne 6 - 0. 4 goals by the end of the First. More excitement, bullshit calls, runs on the goalie, etc. than I've ever seen at a hockey game. There were at least 6 fights, including one with the Wings goalie getting into the action, harrassment of the Komet's goalie... (ST. JOHN, ST. JOHN, YOU SUCK!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Usually Joel and I are the loudmouths, but Christ if the brainiacs weren't out for the game tonite.
It was awesome. Usually the arena is filled with morons but last night we had it all - People leading chants, ripping on the announcer, the arena DJ, the fans, the refs.
Hockey is the best sport. Don't front.

Then, after all of that excitement... it was onto Knob Hill. Oh yeah! The sweet sounds of Sage. A trio of middle aged men performing the classics; AC/DC, the Eagles, Deep Purple, Prince... the hotttest Neil Young-esque solo for "Rockin' in the Freeworld" I've ever seen performed... by a 50+ y/o, no less. Wick looking for a fight, but not really... talkin' it up with the regulars... dancin', popin', and lockin' the night away. Miss Wee-vah wasted. The boys were plussed, but not pissed.
Home by 1:30a, up by 9:30a.
Woooo!

I'm not that much into parties...
but when I attend or am involved with one, I ususally fail.

I think I put too much emphasis on wanting everyone to have a good time and to enjoy what is going on, that I don't sit back and enjoy it for myself.

I get all worked up and pissed off that I can't bring myself back to 'party' mode.
Then I do things like leave in a trail of burning rubber... (sorry, that was an asshole move...)
or worse... If it's a party at my house... I'll just pop some earplugs in and go to bed, wishing everyone the hell out of my house.

Oh, and for the record, I'm not mad at anyone except for maybe me.

*blah.*
That is my state of mind today.

I'm not in a good place.
I really should be accomplishing things, but alas I cannot.

I'm going to go to the gym and make myself tired...
so I can feel okay about laying down and sleeping.

a list...

Build Webpage
1. Review HTML coding
2. Teach myself Dreamweaver
3. Create artwork for webpage
a. photos
--ask John if i can borrow digital camera
--find "models"
b. buttons
--make MA branch buttons
--make buttons for bands
--ask Simon if i can showcase the "Meredith buttons"
4. Create templates for webpage

Note to self: Steal from Busy Beaver while trying not to steal too much from Busy Beaver

Write.
a. Weblog poignancy
b. Record reviews

Work on basslines
Contact Matt
Work on basslines.
Contact Franta

Paint.
a. tutorial from John
b. by squads

Read.

Films to see:
Lost in Translation
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (old and new)
Magnolia (finish watching)
Kill Bill (ahh, Tarantino... shall you fail?)
Mystic River
School of Rock
Run Ronnie Run

Music to accquire:
Matmos - Civil War
Jackie-O-Motherfucker - The Magick Fire Music / Wow!
Do Make Say Think - Winter..., Country..., Secret Hymn
v/a - Staeditzism 4 (~scape)

First off, let me preface this post with the fact that I admire those who are able to eliminate or reduce the amount of dairy and or meat from their diet. I would never be able to do it successfully. As I love the taste of both cheese and flesh
WAY TOO MUCH!

My good friend Simon noted in his blog, that he and his girlfriend would be celebrating her birthday in Chicago. They would be going to a resturant that features... veggie duck.

Now I love duck, don't get me wrong...
and I'm assuming that veggie duck is probably pretty spectacular...
however, if it's veggie... how is it duck?
If you are a vegetarian and if you don't like eating meat... especially because the thought of eating meat as murderous... why would you want the meal to be refered to as duck?

Why don't vegetarians have new terms designated for their entrees?
Are they afraid that they'll be viewed as larger elitists than they already probably are made to feel like if they have special names for their food?
Does it make them seem or feel more "normal" to refer to non-meat products with their meat-esque counterparts?

I just don't get it.

If you want to eat duck, real duck... and your choice in vegetarianism is a health choice... I'd like to remind you that it's possible to be a meat eater and to be healthy.
Moderation in all things.

I won't even get into the countless vegetarians... not any that I know, per say... but those that don't want to eat meat... and yet are more unhealthy than tons of carnivores I know.

The other question that I have, due to ads that I saw in Herbivore magazine...
(otherwise a great magazine... just causes this carnivore confusion...)

Why would a vegan or vegetarian want fake fur?
If they don't agree with the killing of the animal to make a clothing or fashion item...
why would they want to pretend that they are wearing it? Is faking it cool?
'Cause it still looks like animal... and that ain't cool.

I really need to learn how to do mechanical repair.
I think it's time to get some books and learn to do so.

Cars are unbelievably expensive to get fixed at the regular mechanic in a shop.
I'm going to end up having to spend around $500 to have a damn tune up and some fluids changed. Maybe some other work has been done as well, but I'll be goddamned if the mechanic at the place gave me any other information other than, "Well, the car won't be ready until tomorrow because we need to order you 'the fancy sparkplugs.'"

I guess that's what a Saab takes. "Fancy" sparkplugs. Hmmm.
I wonder if I can go to Pep Boys and buy me some "fancy" sparkplugs.
These better have a portion of Dale Earnhardt's soul in each of them and bestow fanastical powers on my vehicle for how "fancy" priced their going to end up being…
and his soul better hum in the key of C-sharp.

See, I've been lucky to have a wife whose father is a mechanic.
He's saved me several thousands of dollars worth of labor on car repairs that he has done rather than having to go to the aforementioned regular mechanic. I’m surprised he didn’t look me over the first time he did repair on my ailing VW Fox, shake his head, and forbid me from seeing his daughter ever again.

…But he didn’t.

So, why not go to him all of the time?

Well, first there's the distance. To have any repairs done, I have to drive back to Clarkston to get work done. That's two hours away from Kalamazoo. Although, if I take it to Curt, I know that the work will be done the same day. He does his diagnosis, gets the parts, and does the work in the amount of time it takes a regular mechanic to figure out how many hours of labor he can rape you for without you screaming about it. So the time it takes to get to Clarkston isn't a big deal.

The other fact is that in having to take a vehicle back to Curt, there's the chance that it won't make it. Cars know when you're worried about them. They like to make you sweat. They like to clunk, shimmy, and wheeze all the more when they know you're looking at 30 miles to go on a 150 mile trip. We whip them like dogs. Mistreated and unloved until they begin to fail us… we rush them to repair. “Please, please, please don’t die! I promise to take better care of you, “ we cry, petting their steering wheel.
They see the lies but, Oh! How they love to see us sweat.

The final obstacle is the hardest to overcome. The guilt.
First, let me explain that I feel no ill will towards my mother-in-law. Deb is awesome. She’s a straight shooter whose kid gloves are always off. She doesn’t like something, * BAM * You’ll know it.
So, its been said that we make Curt do a lot of work and we don’t appreciate it. Also, that the only reason that we come over is to get work done on the car. I think that there is issue to be raised at those thoughts. While not a scientific study, I’d say it’s probably 1 in 3 visits that include the need for work to be done on a car. I think that’s a pretty good number.
If I were a daring man, I could also remind her that we live two hours away, busy people that work weekends, and that in the grand scheme of things – we visit them more in Detroit than they visit us in Kalamazoo.
AND, it's not as if we don't pay him. Sure, he just charges us for parts, but I've tried to give him money at times and he won't take it. So sometimes I overpay him. Then the next time he won't take any money. It's futile to argue with him. He just doesn't care because at the top of the heap of reasons to take advantage of my father-in-laws mechanical skills...
I know Curt loves to work on cars and I know Curt loves to help his daughter - and to a lesser extent, his inept son-in-law.
I will figure out what I need to do to have Deb not be pissed at me while Curt ‘slaves away’ in the garage if I can avoid “the mechanic.”
I will vacuum her living room carpet with concentric circle patterns, paint the kitchen… whatever it takes.

damn the interweb!!!

damn friend collector!! ...i mean friendster.

*heh*

note to self: people are nice. stop being so hypercritical. ignore the riff-raff.

listening to: men at work, murs, matmos, my bloody valentine

who's got the "you made me realize" EP?? can you help a brotha out?

So, I haven't updated in a while... sorry.

Work has been a real bummer of late.
I still enjoy the work, but we're without a supervisor and getting hit from all sides with issues that in all honesty, can only be dealt with by an authority figure.
My interview for this position comes on Thursday. I have mixxed feelings about it. I really know I could put the extra money to good use... and seemingly more importantly, I know I could do a good job, but I don't know that I want to have to deal with some of the extra bullshit that will come with the job.

I know, I know... I should finally grow up and accept some responsibilty...
Sure, I appreciate that view, and it'd be nice... but the crap that I know I'd have to deal with from my manager. *ugh* I'm not sure that I want it.

Her main problem... she's hasty and she doesn't listen.
The other day she came down to our office to chat with us, and it took me raising my voice several decible levels and protruding neck veins before she would stop trying to interrupt me.
Then she tried to calm the situation by telling me I didn't need to "get all worked up over nothing." I wouldn't get pissed if I felt I was actually communicating with her. She's one of those people that wait for their turn to talk. Prepping their next statement without listening first. Excuse me for being frustrated. Excuse me for caring.

...more later. I've got errands.

Strangely Satisfied

So, of late I've been feeling really good about myself.
Of course, I'm not getting as much done as I could be, but I feel I'm being a bit more productive and at least planning strategies for future plans.
Now if I could only successfully pass on my positive feelings and proaction to Miss AK.

I apologize for the fractured nature of the last three posts.
My brain has been running at full speed, and my scattered conversational thought process has dominated this page. I'm going to try my best to edit myself a little better.
Look for footnotes, headers, and more references.

If there were a place--in Kalamazoo, mind you--that played "good" music--the kind you could dance to, had a nice atmosphere--without having overpriced drinks... would you go and dance?

Do you buy CDs or records or are you a burner?

Do you read record reviews?

What bands do you want to see play here/or play here again--in Kalamazoo?

Listening to:
Wire - 154
Consonant - Love and Affliction -- ex-Mission of Burma, Bedhead, the New Year, Come, +Fuzzy

Sabbath, Bloody Sabbath

Just in case there was any confusion on whether or not... Effervessence... I mean, Evanescence... uhhh, yeah... the Linkin-Park meets Tori Amos hybrid band that does that "Wake Me Up" song from the Daredevil movie soundtrack... is a Christian band... well, fret no more heathans... they are among 'the Fallen.'
(tee hee... good one, eh? uh, nevermind. )
I guess the use of profanity during your Rolling Stone interview will get your albums pulled from Christian Bookstores across the nation -- by your record label, Wind-Up (also home to grandious Christian- ambiguous rock-ahs, Creed) even when you score hits on the Contemporary Christian Top Ten, Canadian Top Five, and #1 in the U.K.

Swears are, like, against Christ and stuff, dude.

Also, if you are one to peruse the Christian Inspiration section at Barnes and Noble... don't you think that act alone signifies that you have enough inspiration of Christ. I think so. If you're picking out something to help your friend get more inspired... don't bother... they don't care.

Listening to:
Thunderbirds are Now -- Doctor Lawyer Indian Chief (Action Driver)
Wire -- Chairs Missing
Enon -- Hocus Pocus (Touch and Go)

Dance punk, as in a command -- not another lame genre signifier ...right?
as in "Dance, punk!! ...or I kick you in the groin."

-----

So, two days ago -- it's about six thirty a.m., I was getting ready for work.
Hark! A horn sounds, a car approaches. Again, the horn! Again and again and again... the horn!
The mini-van goes around the circle of apartments -- honk! honk! honking away!
My blood begins to boil. What an inconsiderate asshole! I'm reminded of a sign that was posted by ovidovi's old place. "Your horn is not a doorbell."
The car continues around the buildings, now entering the parking areas for the building. The car still sounds it's death knoll as it swings towards my building.
I peer out the window at the offending auto. The man driving the car pauses, looks up and notices me. Down rolls window.

"Hey is Steve up there?" he calls.

"No, fuck-o! Steve is not up here! And hey, just so you're aware, it's 6:30 in the morning so quit pretending your the grand marshall of a parade and cut that honking shit out!!" I shout indignantly.

"Sorry, " he intones.

"Yeah, whatever..." I mutter and return to getting ready for work.

What makes people tick? Was he still drunk from the night before?
Was here there to pick up Steve for work?
If so, why the fuck didn't he work out the logistics of picking up Steve in a more appropriate manner? Did he expect Steve to come running out of one of the 10 buildings on our circle at the sound of a horn?

I guess I should count myself lucky in that I was already awake...
and my neighbors lucky that he didn't have a bullhorn.

God I hate people ...but love the fact that my synapses were firing so well that I was able to snap back a response I ususally could have only dreamed of.

Leave it to Pitchforkmedia.com... again, summing up my
feelings about Music File Sharing.


Duh, I didn't know that was illegal, George. *

... however I did say that I would talk about my
feelings about the Music Industry as a whole, and it
goes a little something like this... HIT IT.

Alright.
Universal Music Group dropping prices on CDs.
As many have mentioned before, it's about fucking
time. CDs cost nothing to make. Not that
you're all not aware of this, but when you buy a CD
you're not just paying for the music -- you're paying
for an artist's marketing, the money that they use to
pay record exec. salaries -- from the VP's of the
company to the bagel money for the lowly interns, the
money that is used to help promote an artists' tour,
the money to pay the producers of the record, the
remixers of the singles, for the promotional t-shirts,
hats, frisbees, and widgets, etc., etc.

The question I'm asking myself time and time again is:
Do I want to pay for all of that when I buy a record?
More times than not, it's no.
When I'm buying a major label recording, it's usually
a back catalog item of an artist that either:
a.) doesn't tour anymore
b.) I'm not interested in seeing them perform
their "new" material or the "Greatest Hits" tour --
(unless it's Mission of Burma, maybe the Pixies...)
c.) Is a band that is broken up and won't have
any new material (Prime example: I'm doubting the
extra cash made on the Smiths back catalogue sales are
going to Morrissey or Marr to help their new projects
or solo outings. Rather, they're paying for the
catering on the second leg of Cher's Farewell ... I
really mean it this time... Tour)
or
d.) the artist is fucking dead. (They don't
need anymore marketing, man... they're dead!! Not
saying that Shannon Hoon, Brad Nowell, Jimi Hendrix
[Blind Melon... bee girl... heroin overdose... //
Sublime... "poppin' cap's in Sancho's ass"... heroin
overdose...// His Experience... lighting guitars on
fire ... oh never mind... but you remember, right?]
families don't deserve royalties for their respective
wonderful catalogues of work... okay, one at least.)

and half the time... if it's a major label release...
I won't buy it, I'll just download it.
Let some superfan, or the kids pay for that shit...
I did when I was 15.

So, Universal Music Group has decided that they don't
need to make as much money on CD sales to do all of
the things that they have done in the past? Is that
right? Did they decide that they'd rather sell
records to the people instead of promoting the artists
through music videos that, unless the artist is under
25 -- (or pretending to be, ahem, Liz Phair,) sexy
(okay, so Liz Phair has still got it going on --
sellout!,) and singing bland, over produced, pop tunes
(oh yeah, that's you too Liz Phair... don't front.)
we'll never, ever see. (By "never, ever"
I mean, at least the number of times I saw VanHalen's
"Jump" video when it came out in 1984 -- which, by the
way, was at least every hour and a half -- 16 times a
day -- go DLR! You got some milage out of those
fringy pants and tae kwon do classes!!)
Also, while I'm bashing the girl who created the
critically acclaimed, and fan loved--to a point where,
on several occasions, I've almost gotten my ass kicked
by for arguing its merits-- album, Exile at
Guyville... And I quote:
"We're already wet and we're gonna go swimming" -- Why
Can't I? from s/t
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????

You actually paid a writing team for that, Liz Phair?
WHAT??
IF this was still Exile on Guyville... you'd just say
it like it is... you're, f...f...f...fucking!!

So are things in the music industry really going to
change?
Is crappy ass marketing going to take a backseat to
the music...
if not how the labels going to pay for all the
bullshit?

More unpaid interns for sweatshop labor to make
t-shirts?

or are ticket prices for concerts going to go up
again?
Will we see more tours tagged with advertising to pay
for them?
Are artists going to play more shows at smaller
(maybe... better) venues?
Tours cost money. No doubt about it. Liz Phair is
not sleeping on cat-piss stained floors or Joel Wick's
fabled "Curt Cobain Couch" anymore, nor is she taking
a $10 meal buy-out at Harvey's... I mean South Town.
But wouldn't it be nice if you could see, say Missy
Elliott at the Metro in Chicago for $50, rather than
from the nosebleed seats on a gimongous jumbotron at
the United Center for $50 or more.

Artist these days are like spoiled, pampered little
trust fund children -- no offense to the Strokes, mind
you. They live lifestyles like athletes, but don't
see all the money up front after signing that big
bucks contract... sometimes they don't see the money
at all. Most no name major label signees end up owing
their record labels... some, like TLC, magically go
bankrupt.

but I digress...

Ultimately, Universal Music Group's lowering of list
prices is going to start a pricing war between the
other companies. And it's about God Damn time.
I know that my music purchasing is never based on
cost... I mean, Christ I buy 150 gm vinyl at $18.00 a
pop, when I could buy the CD for $14 or less... but it
used to be... hence all of my cassette purchases
between ages 13 through 17... but really, for kids who
are on an allowance... if they have a choice between
buying the new Good Charlotte record for $10 or the
new Avril Lavine for $17. They're going to buy the
new GC and download Avril. It's that simple.

Kids think you've been gouging them for years on the
cost of albums, so lower the goddamn prices and
re-think your marketing strategies. MTV doesn't play
videos anymore, so don't make videos. Pepsi wants
your artist to be a spokesperson -- get a kickback and
use that cash to pay for the artists next recording
sessions.

I don't have all of the answers. But here's where it
starts.
More to follow...
Stay tuned.
Look for a record review section coming soon as well.

Listening to:

Jimmy Eat World -- Bleed American (Dreamworks) **
The Constantines - Shine A Light (SubPop)
Pleasure Forever -- Alter (SubPop)
Year of the Rabbit - s/t (Elektra) -- Ex-Failure
frontman Ken Andrew's new project **
Smog -- Red Apple Falls (Drag City)

Reads:

XLR8R Magazine
The Mote in God's Eye - Niven/Pournelle

* as said in the voice of Warner Brother's cartoon character, whose name I don't recall nor
species I am familiar with either... but, he's big, gumpy, and is the side kick of a smaller
character of the same species... I think they're the foils to Speedy Gonzales.
** promo copies purchased on e-bay (illegally, mind you...) for far less than the list or retail
price. gawd, i'm a bastard.

It's about fucking time...

This could not wait:

small portion of music industry finally removes head from ass

My thoughts to follow... I'm at work and cannot expound at this juncture.

ooh, ohh... that's what i wanted to do!

okay, a little game/contest for y'all

The other day, in the shower, I started singing and it went a little something like this:

Oh yes, it's ladies night, and it feels alright, Oh yes, it's ladies night, Oh, what a night, Late December back in '63, Now it was January 1963, When Johnny came home with a gift for me, He said I bought it for you because I love you, and I bought it for you 'cuz it's your birthday too, They say it's your birthday, It's my birthday too, yeah, They say it's your birthday, We're gonna have a good time, I'm glad it's your birthday, Happy birthday to you, Yes we're going to a party party, I would like you to dance, Dancing Queen, feel the beat from the tambourine, You can dance, For Inspiration, You're the meaning in my life, You're the inspiration, You bring feeling to my life, You're the Inspiration...

and when it got to that point... I had to make myself stop. Honestly. I had to force myself to stop.
Shake my head, hard.
Stop.

This is the contest: break the "song" apart into seperate pieces correctly, name the song and artist of each piece...
Win a "HUMAN JUKEBOX" button. Everyone can win, so don't post the answer in the comments.
E-mail me -- link is below.

Check the comment section as I will give hints, although I do think this one is pretty easy.

Oh, and don't be a party pooper and tell me I got the lyrics wrong... 'cuz I didn't.
It's my goddamn song.

Problems:

* No Respect.
I am a well versed, highly experienced radio disc jockey. No one except for Josh Franta and Josh Upson seem to recognize
that. Am I really surprised that I probably won't have a show on WIDR this semester? No. Disappointed? Quite.
Still wish that I was a student at Western so I could leave my mark.
Still dread the thought of being a student at Western.

* Work.
This will ultimately be the final week that I have to work a six day work week. Hopefully...
I do need to stress the fact that a pay raise and possible job description change are a must. And Soon!
Still do enjoy the work... however frustrating the buracracy is.

Things in the works:

* Moped Army Hoodies

* Button Up // K-Zoo Badge Art

* G/F/S - (errr... No, not Gordon Food Service)


Listening to:

* The Constantines - Shine A Light and S/T
* The Talking Heads- Speaking in Tongues
* Tarwater - Dwellers on the Threshold

So, some of you may have already found them...
while others you may have looked on the 22nd, found nothing, and haven't been back since...

needless to say...

THE PICTURES ARE NOW UP!!!

www.photocolleen.com

No, I'm afraid we aren't under the featured wedding... damn.

So, I've been challenged to update my weblog a little more frequently...
My wife has made the challenge... and so... I will meet it.

So far, married life has not been all that much different than what life was like before we got married. I didn't have any delusions of grandeur or horror that things would change.
(I think people who get into marriage because they think their lives will be change for the better are insane and have expectations that have already doomed their marriage.)
Although, Allison somehow feels that I've duped her into marriage, and now have revealed my true self... a sports-loving, miniature-wargaming, comic-book-collecting-nerd.

To put that into perspective, let's examine the reality of the situation.

Sports: really only hockey and basketball, but I guess I can get pulled into a football or baseball game... a good tennis match... maybe even some NASCAR.
*joking!*

Miniature-wargaming: It hasn't come down to getting back into RPGs (role-playing games) but I've finally found some non-freak* players of an excellent miniature wargame called Warhammer 40,000. The game flows well, rules are concise and the miniatures are of excellent quality--albiet a little harsh on the cashflow.
[* the typical "gamer" considers their gaming to be their top priority--over work, over relationships, sometimes over basic-human hygine. They think their game 24/7/365. They are usually over-zealous in their gaming habits, take their characters to the extreme (sometimes adopting their characteristics/dress/language.) and overall are bad sports and usually "power-game" to a level that's outlandish, annoying, and downright stupid. Why play with people that aren't any fun?]

Comics: ONE FRIGGING TITLE!! Grendel books, that's it. Try dealing with Dahl, Weber-Kasner, or Upson my dear... REALLY!! ONE TITLE!!)

My defense, and I'm sticking to it: A guy's got to have a hobby or two.


Work has been encompassing a far greater amount of time than I would like,
but it seems that possible promotion and a raise are in the works, so maybe it will be worth it.
It's challenging in a way, not something I see myself doing forever. It's definately bareable, I'd even say that I like the work, but not something that I love.

The new house is coming along. I do not fret as much as Allison does about the state of our home.
If Deb thinks we live like slobs, tough shit. I do not wish to vaccum and Swiffer (tm) my flooring twice a day. Nor do I mind, so much, albums lying about. What I do need to bring myself to task on, is reducing the bullshit clutter. I collect a vast array of tiny pieces of paper with a url or two scrawled onto it, magazine clippings, buttons, badges, and coins in my pockets on a daily basis that I end up dumping onto my dresser nightly. It's a much smaller place, so I need to come to grips with the fact that smaller piles of shit are going to add up rather quickly to seemingly bigger piles of shit that encompass a far greater amount of space.

tbc...

It's one of those nights that I have every so often (actually twice this week) where I cannot get my brain to shut down and let me sleep. Of course I have a million and a half things to do tomorrow, and a million other things on the back burner that need my attention so I should get be getting some sleep. But I can't.

In my head :
(and not necessarily in this order)

I'm writing the e-mail responses to e-mail responses that haven't even happened yet.

I'm swooning over the mods that Dan has made on my beloved vespy!

I'm blissed out and kissing my beautiful new wife as John states "I pronounce you husband and wife."

I'm dancing to my grooved out mixes that I've made especially for my wedding in a wedding suit that I've yet to buy.

I'm rocking out to Taking Pictures, Ted Leo and the Pharmacists, Saturday Looks Good To Me, Rocket's Red Glare,Q and Not U, and the Beauty Pill here in Kalamazoo on several different dates!!

I'm designing buttons for bands/organizations/businesses that haven't yet aquired my services for button making.
(ps: if you need buttons btw, i'm your hometown source, or out of town source for that matter. fo' real!! really real.)

I'm moving to New York, no Chicago, no Northern California, no DC, no the UK.

Oh wait, I'm not moving anywhere...
I've started my promotions/design company, and opened my record store, and bought the News Agency...

Allison and Naoko have bought Ripe and Allison has her interior design firm, and does amazing design for my clients.

Now if only I were dreaming these things instead of typing them on the goddamned computer at 1:17am, I'd be all set.

On a completely different note: If you're not aware, Allison's BFA Graphic Design Closing Reception is tomorrow night and you're all invited. It is from 5-8pm in East Hall. If for no other reason, you should come because there will be free food and my baby's hard work, and reasons for being an anti-social hermit for the last six months, on full display.

Tonight was my first night on my actual shift at Bronson--2:45-11:15. I had orientation during the day on Monday and Tuesday. It was rather boring. I finished the week out on first shift, which was from 8:00-4:30pm. I really didn't have to answer the phone for tech calls because we're just back up for the Help Desk during that time. However tonight, the fun began. Honestly it was fun too. The two service calls that I went out for were actually quite ridiculous, but they were fun nevertheless.

One of the problems was a printer problem.
Of course there was absolutely nothing wrong with the printer. The problem was in the application that they were running. Neither of the yahoos could tell me how to bring up the print queue in the application... they told me that they never looked at it and that things just printed when they were supposed to. Of course, this is a hospital application... I have absolutely *NO* idea how to use it. (Although I don't feel so bad as the guys that are using it don't know how to either.)
This call was a real learning experience for me.
Number one, get all of the information before leaving the Data Center. See, the Data Center is in the old hospital, and all of the tech calls usually are in the New Hospital. Which means, I've got to take at least a half mile hike over to the new hospital... so, not having all of the information before heading out means, trekking back to the Data Center, looking up the extention of the Department, etc., etc.

Needlesstosay, I made a couple of these errors this evening, I think I got at least 4 miles in tonight. =)

The other thing I learned... how to use a Nextel phone. I don't personally have one... (yet... As I'm getting one, provided by Bronson. I hate Nextels!)
It's not rocket-science or anything, but as the thing chirped away at me, I hung up on my co-workers three times.
Of course, they were calling me to tell me not to bother going back to Radiology... the application had been reset by another tech, and the yahoos were getting their reports spewing out of their printer.

The second tech call that I made was exactly the kind of call my supervisor, Ray, said would the norm.
The nurses in the charge office had their floors cleaned so maintence removed everything had been unplugged and put back incorrectly, supposedly.
When I got there. The only thing that was keeping these computers from not operating properly was that they were not turned on.
*laughs*
I'm sure that I will eventually get some challenging calls, but if this is the norm... my job really is a cakewalk like Brian said.

In more fun news, I went the opening party for Dan's moped shop--1977 Mopeds. He showed me a catalog of performance parts which got me drooling.
My Vespa is going in on Tuesday for some upgrades. *yipppeee!!*

I thought this was America... free speech for everyone, right?

WRONG.

Setting: The Academy Awards.

Steve Martin can make sexist and slightly homo-phobic/erotic remarks and jokes... no one bats an eye. He's a the host, and a comedian so, he's allowed to take things to levels that some would find to be in bad taste. (I certainly did. Most of his banter was pathetic.)

The guys who won for best sound get to prattle on about how their wives really helped them through the hardships of sound effects for Lilo and Stitch.

Michael Moore, a man who's known for his mouth, his strong opinons, and by far a funnier man than Steve Martin anyday--gets boo-ed for not falling in line with Bush. For once, the Academy gets it right, and Hollywood, gets it all wrong.

So far, this week has been a big waste.
I've not really done anything of worth except for going to get my shots at Bronson.
"Getting my shots" makes me sound like a household pet, and honestly that's how I've been acting this week. Lying about. Barking at the neighbors. Listening to music. Reading. Watching television. Thinking about the impending, and now active war.

One thing, and one thing only on the war. Last night after our initial missle attacks Bush-baby came on the TV reiterating the hope that this will be a short war, that we have a coalition of forces, and that our aim is to oust the tyrannt. One thing that really caught my attention was the word "defense." I'm pretty sure I gave a resounding "bullshit!" response to the talking head. Now don't jump down my throat for not getting the exact quote, I'm sure I could jump over to NYTimes.com and get the exact text of the speech but I'm not going to. Defense. We're not defending ourselves. We're attacking... Attacking now to prevent some attack that may happen in the future. This is pre-emption. Not defense. Get your new fangled foreign policy straight, please.

I can still make this a worthwhile week.
Today I need to do some laundry, send out some e-mail, figure out what the hell I want to do for my birthday, and continue working on some wedding stuff.

Tunes: Talking Heads--Remain in Light/Fear of Music/More Songs About Buildings and Food,
Ted Leo & the Pharmacists--Hearts of Oak, Cursive--The Ugly Organ, 349 random iPod songs.

Read: This Must Be The Place (Talking Heads bio)

I am not a patient boy.
Sure, I'm good at killing time, but this waiting to hear from new job is killing me.
Whatever.

My last day at the News Agency is Sunday.
Miss it? Hardly. You all know.

I wrote this gigantic post on all of my hatred for customers, but I didn't post it...
It was pretty funny. Maybe I should reconstruct it.

I've let some of my favorite customers know that I'm leaving. None of them have expressed anything but happiness for me... which is, of course, what I expected. I think the majority of those that I've spoken with know what a pain it must be to work for Dean.

In killing time, I've watched the Ring, twice, I'd definately recommend this movie. SO GOOD!
Also the Rules of Attraction, (Ellis' books are so tedious while the films of said novels are so enjoyable.) as well as, Igby Goes Down, and the Omen.
I also finished up William Gibson's Pattern Recognition.

I was supposed to find out whether I got the job yesterday, but I didn't receive a phone call so I had prepared myself for the worst. Erin told me that I shouldn't worry about it and that I would probably get a call today... either way. What made me think that I didn't get the job was how implicitly clear my interviewer had made that they would call on Monday. So, I figured my phone call would be one of, "Thanks for interviewing, but we chose another candidate."
I was prepared.

Home phone rang at 8:15.
I was awake, but still pretty much still nestled and comfy in bed.
I wouldn't usually jump up to get the phone, so I didn't today either.
I should have. It was Halle from Bronson. She rattled off something that I really didn't catch, said she needed to talk to me, she had good news.
I was pretty reserved at first, but then just kept going "YEAH!" and pumping my fist.
My cell phone rang a few minutes later and I grabbed it up.
I talked with Halle for a few minutes. I'm supposed to get another call from her today.
Letting me know what my starting wage will be and when I'm going to start.
It will either be the 17th or the 24th. I'm geeked either way.

Now for the fun part.
Telling Dean I'm leaving the News Agency.
More on that later.

Oh, by the way, the job is in IT Administration.
I'm 2nd shift (3-11pm) Associate Tech for Data Operations.
Full benefits--medical, dental, optical as well as gym and spa usage.

My thoughts lie firmly entrenched in the fact that this was obviously coming. I, like many, had heard the rumors quite a while ago. There was a little worry and then, it just kind of blew over, however The Space collective had plenty of “warning” that Renal Care was out for their building. Whether or not they were out to make money or whether they were out to build/strengthen a community/scene they could have started to make the move to re-locate, or made a serious offer on the building before the situation got to this point.

I mean, this is a major setback no matter how you look.
I don’t think its impossible for the Space to re-open in a new location, but its going to be a while before anything happens… what happens to the community the Space built now?

I know everyone is trying to be supportive—looking to the bright side. DIY ethics and sloganeering are being tossed about… Yes, the people that made up this community are still here, but how long will it take before a group decides that they’re going to re-build from the ashes?

I see the current collective as tired and worn out.
They’re seeing little fruit from all of their labor.
They’re sad/pissed, just like us, that it has ended this way. (I’ve *heard* that even “some” look at this as somehow, a relief… I don’t believe this however… If anthing I’m guessing this is just denial—hard at work.)

Was this collective perfect?
Did it run the way it should have?

No, probably not.

From what little experience I had with the “inner workings” of the Space… being on the music committee, and geting some of the “lowdown” from Frain… sometimes it was a nightmare, but things got done… eventually… through much debate on some issues, with hardly a whimper on others…

In the long run it was a little too “hippy-ish” for my taste and wasn’t the most effective way of getting things done.

Did they do all they could to “save” the Space?
Was planning in the works for a move?
Were all the facts in their hands to work with?
Did they take it seriously enough?
In the end did this collective “fail us”?

Those are the questions that are welling up inside of me.

In the long run we’ll remember the evil landlord that sold off the building under the feet of a group of idealistic kids that were only really hard at play.
The Space will garner the same reverie that people have for Blake’s, the Comet, 31G, “the way Club Soda used to be,” and whatever else used to be cool…

I haven’t been to the Space in quite a while, but needless to say, I’ll be there on Saturday night to show my support, and pay my respects.

R.I.P.

Yesterday was such a wonderful day.
Although I didn't get up as early as I would have liked to, it was still wonderful due to the fact that the sun was shining brightly.
Allison and I went for a lengthy drive around Southwest Michigan.
Nothing of real excitement to report, but it was fun nevertheless.
We played an uproarious game of "which would you rather..."
The questions ranged from pretty gross; "Would you rather shit your pants in public or vomit all over the car?," to slightly more thought provoking; "Would you rather be Paul Ruebens or George W. Bush?"

Ebay has been filling my record collecting needs of late:
I've completed my Gang of Four discography,
added some of the Fall's early albums,
and picked up two relatively new releases for cheaper than new prices
(Both the new Komputer and Tarwater CDs)
Now if I could only track down a copy of My Bloody Valentine's "You Made Me Realise" EP for less than thirty dollars.

I might go out and try to start my moped today.
It's *SO* nice!!

Shitlist :

1. Under extreme protest from me, I watched my boss transact a "return" of a book that I know was picked up from off the shelf and not, as stated by lowlife thief, a "gift" that he "already read."
I watched the guy from the moment he entered the store. He didn't have a book with him when he came in. He didn't have anything that he could have been carrying the book in. Not even his jacket. It was pullover with only a small pocket in the front. No way. I don't know who I'm more mad at. This guy who scammed the store out of $16, or my boss for letting him get away with it. Oh yeah, she knew. She tried her little, I'll guilt this guy into just admitting it. It never works. Lowlives don't care. Oh, and then after he gets his cash, he decides that he needs to buy some smokes. I really wanted to just throw them at him and tell him to get the fuck out. "No, don't worry, the smokes are on me, LOWLIFE!"
On a more positive note, I guess this means if I ever turn into a lowlife, I can help myself to the contents of the register, as long as I buy some smokes on the way out.

2. Guilting a friend into having a conversation with an aquaintance that "guilt-er" should be having with aforementioned third party, as it is the "guilt-ers" problem rather than the "friend's." This situation as a whole has already damaged the friendship of "friend" and "guilt-er" ...and if "friend" carries out conversation with "guilty third party" it will ultimately damage that relationship as well.

Hitlist:

While I've found Kalamazoo overall to be a sexually repressed little town, some of you may enjoy this site. I mean, there are people that won't come into the News Agency because well sell porn. I mean, it's not that difficult to avoid it. It's locked up. You have to ask for it. You make a scene to retrieve it. You won't find it in the kids section... WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT! (more on this later.)

This site got national attention on NPR's This American Life, so to some of you it may be old news, but I'm really wondering how the hell they gave out the URL over the airwaves.

True Porn Clerk Stories

All I can say to Ali is, be thankful that "family" porn is an unfilmable fetish.
Oh, and *knocks on wood* I've never had to deal with "spooge."